TV Quiz pt 1

Back at the beginning of the year, I did something a bit reckless. In my defence I didn't have much idea what I was doing. In response to "you should do that" while watching BBC Mastermind, I filled out an online application.

So yesterday I was in Manchester having my knowledge/ignorance quotient recorded for television.

Between the two events there were phone interviews and tests, a face-to-face audition and more phone consultations, during which time I repeatedly thought "why am I doing this?" and repeatedly teetered on the brink of pulling out. I don't like being the focus of attention, I avoid competitive situations (I'm not fond of losing, but I find winning embarrassing too), and I've spent a large majority of my life insulated from popular culture. Each time, though, I told myself that those were all very good reasons to go ahead. I'm not good at putting it into practice, but I firmly believe in the value of going beyond what I think I am capable of.

I also discovered one thing which showed how little I knew about popular culture: Mastermind seems to come packaged with a whole set of assumptions for everybody. They ALL know the format, most can name a previous winner, and all regard it as something that other people do. That may be because it still has a bit of prestige among the many quiz shows there are, or it may be a hangover from the days when there weren't so many, I'm not sure.

Needless to say I didn't cover myself with glory in the event, and I confess to feeling a bit deflated in spite of that being exactly in line with my expectations (don't we all dream of the perfect set of circumstances when we imagine a scenario, even we keep replacing it with realism). Still, I'm quietly proud too, mainly because I know I tend to avoid putting myself on the line in any way, and I know, even if nobody else does, how hard this was to do - effectively putting an aspect of myself out to be judged in as public a way as possible.

Probably the second hardest thing I've done, actually. And that's a good positive thing, and I'm glad I did it.