I had thought I had left all this stuff behind, but I have had a reminder of a key part of brethrenism. Pause for swooping strings and a drum roll ... it's the Aberdeen issue!
Apparently some people think that ferreting out undeniable facts about this historical affair is the best hope of bringing the EB edifice crashing down. They may be right, and logic would say they are, but something doesn't feel too promising to me. It has taken a bit of thought to see why.
After all, it is true that the morality of the brethren's leaders is all-important. From the early days of brethrenism, when the key doctrine that led to their existence was that clergy were an offence to God, a key has come to be that the perfectibility of Mankind is proved at all times by the perfection of one man on Earth - who of course must be in the only perfect position. And that person comes to be leader by mysterious means that can only be traced back to God's ways. So, for brethren, all morality can be tested against an easily-seen marker, and the compulsory progress towards God's plan for them is measured the same way. After all, the reasoning goes, God couldn't be satisfied with less than perfection, and wouldn't be so unreasonable as to ask for the impossible, so the result must be there to see for the enlightened.
So it seems equally reasonable to suppose that if that perfection could be proved to be illusory or, better, totally fake, the foundations of the brethren's thought would so weakened as to be unable to support what has grown up on them.
There's no doubt that, on the face of it, James Taylor Jr is an easy target for such an effort. I recall listening to a set of recordings of meetings late on in his life with increasing discomfort and distaste. He rambled and slurred, and spouted such self-centred content-free verbiage that I was embarrassed on his behalf, and thought it would be a good thing for everybody if such recordings were kept under lock and key to preserve his good memory. That's without considering the many people who claim to have firm proof of activities up to and including adultery, culminating in scandal at Aberdeen in 1970.
Yet there is a big problem, and that is that the whole affair has moved beyond facts and history for the brethren and become a matter of ideology.
All brethren are brought up from birth with the assumption that their leaders are and have been pure. For example, even as I was cringing at what I heard on those ancient recordings, I could see looks of admiration all around me as though everybody else was hearing something entirely different. If you start with the assumption that a man is God's example to us all, then anything and everything can be twisted to fit that narrative. My companions were spellbound by the genius of the man in skilfully leading the ignorant astray so that only God's elect could see his true worth. I think everybody has had enough practice in mental contortions that there isn't a fact that they couldn't make fit somehow.
But more to the point, all brethren consider the whole affair to be among the top dividing lines between the sheep and the goats. That's the brilliant thing about it from their point of view. If somebody provides "facts" that reflect badly on JTjr, that's all you need to know - they're on the wrong side and you mustn't listen. So those facts won't get very far because they're greeted with instant deafness.
What's more, I have many times heard ex-brethren disparaged just because they can't move on from the issue: the feeling is "is that all they've got to harp on about?" So that combination - indifference, closed minds and sense of superiority - makes the job harder than it first appears. Some may think it's merely a tricky lock to pick, and worth a lot of effort if it provides a way in, but I suspect it's more like trying to pick a concrete wall.
Still, I'll watch with interest in case I'm proved wrong.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Criticism
The brethren believe they're better than everyone else.
Well, actually that isn't quite accurate. Nobody believes in their
kitchen table: it's there, it's obvious, and nobody needs to believe
in it. They take it for granted. The same applies with brethren
superiority. It's the starting point for all interaction of any
kind.
I read an article recently on why the Danes seem to be the happiest
people on Earth, and one reason put forward was much the same - that
they consider Danishness to be a superior state of being. That makes
for a certain amount of xenophobia and difficulty in the country in
some ways, but apparently the common society values more than make
up for it as a place to live.
The brethren are kind of similar, except that the attitude is
boosted exponentially by the conviction that the superiority is
God-given. It can also lead to a kind of schizophrenia in the ones
who are aware of deficiencies (which is many), because they
simultaneously believe that they are in the best community in
existence and can see things which are bad in one way or another.
Everybody has their own way of dealing with that, whether they go to
enormous lengths never to have to consider it, go all-out for
denial, or rationalise it in whatever way they can.
It does help to remember that when dealing with them. The key thing
is that criticism, implied or straight, is going to clash with their
root assumptions and nobody likes that.
Depending on the circumstances, it may be OK to criticise specifics.
Only the most blinkered of brethren refuse to admit to any
imperfections. What few can deal with is any suggestion that the
totality might be in any way at fault. That clashes with such deeply
held beliefs that the only possible conclusion is that the
suggestion must be wrong even without examination of what has been
said. If it is then insisted upon, the insistence reflects back on
the person doing it, who must be anywhere between misled and evil.
Complicating matters is that such criticism is held to be exactly
the same as criticising God Himself in their eyes. No matter that
anybody else would regard that as a separate step, and an arguable
one. They won't see the difference.
That explains the extreme reactions to what brethren perceive as
attack - it isn't rational or part of a master-plan, just the
outrage of people who've had the very foundations of their worldview
questioned and can't handle it. It also explains the strained
relations between family-members within the brethren and outside,
because the very act of leaving the brethren is about as strong a
criticism as anybody could make.
When people discover my background, one of the first things they
wonder is why I don't have more contact with my family. I have never
managed to explain to anyone's satisfaction that it isn't really to
do with rules, but a matter of hurt. By leaving, I have said to them
that something they consider to be a part of their essence, and
something they most value, is worth nothing to me. Blood ties are
strong, but lesser things than that can pull families apart.
I can see the varying degrees of contact with my family in that
light. Relations are best with those who feel a more pragmatic
connection with the brethren, and therefore accept my situation as
simply different from theirs in that it works for them and didn't
for me. Relations are also OK, interestingly, with those who never
question the whole brethren-thing, as they remain mystified by my
actions rather than upset. For the remainder, who have to work all
the time at resolving their worries and beliefs, every contact with
me rubs away at a rawness in them, and they would sooner not have to
deal with it.
Well, actually that isn't quite accurate. Nobody believes in their
kitchen table: it's there, it's obvious, and nobody needs to believe
in it. They take it for granted. The same applies with brethren
superiority. It's the starting point for all interaction of any
kind.
I read an article recently on why the Danes seem to be the happiest
people on Earth, and one reason put forward was much the same - that
they consider Danishness to be a superior state of being. That makes
for a certain amount of xenophobia and difficulty in the country in
some ways, but apparently the common society values more than make
up for it as a place to live.
The brethren are kind of similar, except that the attitude is
boosted exponentially by the conviction that the superiority is
God-given. It can also lead to a kind of schizophrenia in the ones
who are aware of deficiencies (which is many), because they
simultaneously believe that they are in the best community in
existence and can see things which are bad in one way or another.
Everybody has their own way of dealing with that, whether they go to
enormous lengths never to have to consider it, go all-out for
denial, or rationalise it in whatever way they can.
It does help to remember that when dealing with them. The key thing
is that criticism, implied or straight, is going to clash with their
root assumptions and nobody likes that.
Depending on the circumstances, it may be OK to criticise specifics.
Only the most blinkered of brethren refuse to admit to any
imperfections. What few can deal with is any suggestion that the
totality might be in any way at fault. That clashes with such deeply
held beliefs that the only possible conclusion is that the
suggestion must be wrong even without examination of what has been
said. If it is then insisted upon, the insistence reflects back on
the person doing it, who must be anywhere between misled and evil.
Complicating matters is that such criticism is held to be exactly
the same as criticising God Himself in their eyes. No matter that
anybody else would regard that as a separate step, and an arguable
one. They won't see the difference.
That explains the extreme reactions to what brethren perceive as
attack - it isn't rational or part of a master-plan, just the
outrage of people who've had the very foundations of their worldview
questioned and can't handle it. It also explains the strained
relations between family-members within the brethren and outside,
because the very act of leaving the brethren is about as strong a
criticism as anybody could make.
When people discover my background, one of the first things they
wonder is why I don't have more contact with my family. I have never
managed to explain to anyone's satisfaction that it isn't really to
do with rules, but a matter of hurt. By leaving, I have said to them
that something they consider to be a part of their essence, and
something they most value, is worth nothing to me. Blood ties are
strong, but lesser things than that can pull families apart.
I can see the varying degrees of contact with my family in that
light. Relations are best with those who feel a more pragmatic
connection with the brethren, and therefore accept my situation as
simply different from theirs in that it works for them and didn't
for me. Relations are also OK, interestingly, with those who never
question the whole brethren-thing, as they remain mystified by my
actions rather than upset. For the remainder, who have to work all
the time at resolving their worries and beliefs, every contact with
me rubs away at a rawness in them, and they would sooner not have to
deal with it.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Folk in the Woods
It's been a busy weekend again, and I've been able to confirm that my parents are more or less OK now. A good side-effect of the incident is that I have slightly better points of contact with my family than before.
Anyway, when I'd spoken at length to one of them on Saturday afternoon, we treated ourselves to an odd and intimate evening of music out in the woods.
Not far from my place is a Youth Hostel in a forest of sorts surrounded by National Trust property. It's very old indeed, with no vehicular access, reached by a twenty minute walk down a bridleway from the nearest carpark. It has no services to speak of, so electricity is from solar panels backed up by a generator, and all water except drinking water comes from rain harvesting. The ceilings are low and full of beams, it's cramped, and staying there means sleeping in a dormitory in triple-decker bunk beds.
Periodically they have folk music nights there, and people seem to come from surprising distances to join in. One man (with the beard you might expect of a folk-music fan) had been coming for over forty years. When we arrived there weren't many people around, and I didn't think there would be to judge by the venue - which was a room about the size of a suburban master bedroom, perhaps, or a small living room, only to three-quarters scale in the height dimension. And of that, a large chunk was taken up by an enormous fireplace. But we made tea in the cheerfully communal way of hostels and got chatting to some pleasant people.
But as the evening wore on the room filled with people to a density of about one per square foot ... well, not quite, but close. All ages, too, from a slightly crippled older woman with a nun-style headscarf to a couple of toddlers. And a good many guitar cases.
And we all had a really good time. Not everybody was equally talented, but it didn't much matter. Some people performed while everybody listened quietly, such as the solo warblers of unaccompanied serious folk, but the general pattern was for someone to sing the verses of a well-known song and everyone to join in with the choruses. And sometimes one person played the guitar, sometimes several. "Folk" had a pretty broad definition, too, stretched to encompass basically anything that could be performed without electric backing - including Radiohead and Eighties electronic pop.
We left at about half past ten, and the evening was really just getting going. That's the great thing about a hostel in the woods. They could play and sing into the small hours without disturbing anybody at all, and then stumble up the narrow stairs to sleep.
All this might seem a bit strange to someone used to the brethren life, but actually it was one of the things I've done which felt most comfortingly familiar in many ways. A crowded room, acoustic music, and a hippyish vibe in which it was taken for granted that everyone present was a friend. Not exactly a brethren-style Saturday evening, but oddly not far off in feel.
Then today was the zoo in glorious weather. But that is best left for another time.
Anyway, when I'd spoken at length to one of them on Saturday afternoon, we treated ourselves to an odd and intimate evening of music out in the woods.
Not far from my place is a Youth Hostel in a forest of sorts surrounded by National Trust property. It's very old indeed, with no vehicular access, reached by a twenty minute walk down a bridleway from the nearest carpark. It has no services to speak of, so electricity is from solar panels backed up by a generator, and all water except drinking water comes from rain harvesting. The ceilings are low and full of beams, it's cramped, and staying there means sleeping in a dormitory in triple-decker bunk beds.
Periodically they have folk music nights there, and people seem to come from surprising distances to join in. One man (with the beard you might expect of a folk-music fan) had been coming for over forty years. When we arrived there weren't many people around, and I didn't think there would be to judge by the venue - which was a room about the size of a suburban master bedroom, perhaps, or a small living room, only to three-quarters scale in the height dimension. And of that, a large chunk was taken up by an enormous fireplace. But we made tea in the cheerfully communal way of hostels and got chatting to some pleasant people.
But as the evening wore on the room filled with people to a density of about one per square foot ... well, not quite, but close. All ages, too, from a slightly crippled older woman with a nun-style headscarf to a couple of toddlers. And a good many guitar cases.
And we all had a really good time. Not everybody was equally talented, but it didn't much matter. Some people performed while everybody listened quietly, such as the solo warblers of unaccompanied serious folk, but the general pattern was for someone to sing the verses of a well-known song and everyone to join in with the choruses. And sometimes one person played the guitar, sometimes several. "Folk" had a pretty broad definition, too, stretched to encompass basically anything that could be performed without electric backing - including Radiohead and Eighties electronic pop.
We left at about half past ten, and the evening was really just getting going. That's the great thing about a hostel in the woods. They could play and sing into the small hours without disturbing anybody at all, and then stumble up the narrow stairs to sleep.
All this might seem a bit strange to someone used to the brethren life, but actually it was one of the things I've done which felt most comfortingly familiar in many ways. A crowded room, acoustic music, and a hippyish vibe in which it was taken for granted that everyone present was a friend. Not exactly a brethren-style Saturday evening, but oddly not far off in feel.
Then today was the zoo in glorious weather. But that is best left for another time.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Book Review
I'm feeling kind of odd this evening. Family affairs are complicated, and while some of my feelings are telling me to contact people I love by any means possible, I still can't escape the strong idea that it's only by not trying to have contact that I retain the option of contact at all. And so there is guilt and conflict while I battle it out.
So I will move on to a more cheerful subject: a book recommendation.
Terry Pratchett is a favourite author, and I am in full agreement with a recent review that said he is one of the best writers alive - only too popular for critics generally to admit it. Maybe the critics get hung up on his early work, which has nothing like the depth. Anyway, his most recent book, "Nation", is a sideways step that has no connection to his usual work. It's - on the surface - a children's book, and not so wild and witty. But as with most really good writing, I can't help seeing parallels to my own life as I read it.
It's set in a version of the South Seas, in a version of Victorian times. The main characters are adolescents, a local boy and a travelling girl, both solitary survivors of a catastrophe of weather. The theme is how they manage when everything they knew has been swept away. Does this sound familiar yet?
It gets better. Both are thinkers and questioners, with conflicting urges between trying to put things back the way they were as far as is possible, and the knowledge that the old ways, for all their familiarity, didn't work and aren't appropriate. And the boy has his ancestors shouting inside his head, commanding that reverence be paid to the old rituals, threatening disaster of physical and moral varieties if he lets the old ways die. Now that the world has changed, can he have the strength to change with it, or will phantom authority fill the gap where the authority of convention used to be?
The message it gives to me is that even when a person is outside of a world they've known, they bring more of it with them than they can be aware of, and it takes constantly opening eyes to see what is real, what is valuable, and what is merely a groove in their thought processes. And that you can sincerely grieve for loss without needing to reconstruct a version of what is gone.
Besides that, there is also the intriguing clash between cultures in which two people genuinely do not understand things which seem so obvious to the other. I have the T-shirt, as the saying goes ...
One quote will do, I think, not about either main character:
"He believed in rational thinking and scientific inquiry, which was why he never won an argument with his mother, who believed in people doing what she told them, and believed it with a rock-hard certainty which dismissed all opposition."
So I will move on to a more cheerful subject: a book recommendation.
Terry Pratchett is a favourite author, and I am in full agreement with a recent review that said he is one of the best writers alive - only too popular for critics generally to admit it. Maybe the critics get hung up on his early work, which has nothing like the depth. Anyway, his most recent book, "Nation", is a sideways step that has no connection to his usual work. It's - on the surface - a children's book, and not so wild and witty. But as with most really good writing, I can't help seeing parallels to my own life as I read it.
It's set in a version of the South Seas, in a version of Victorian times. The main characters are adolescents, a local boy and a travelling girl, both solitary survivors of a catastrophe of weather. The theme is how they manage when everything they knew has been swept away. Does this sound familiar yet?
It gets better. Both are thinkers and questioners, with conflicting urges between trying to put things back the way they were as far as is possible, and the knowledge that the old ways, for all their familiarity, didn't work and aren't appropriate. And the boy has his ancestors shouting inside his head, commanding that reverence be paid to the old rituals, threatening disaster of physical and moral varieties if he lets the old ways die. Now that the world has changed, can he have the strength to change with it, or will phantom authority fill the gap where the authority of convention used to be?
The message it gives to me is that even when a person is outside of a world they've known, they bring more of it with them than they can be aware of, and it takes constantly opening eyes to see what is real, what is valuable, and what is merely a groove in their thought processes. And that you can sincerely grieve for loss without needing to reconstruct a version of what is gone.
Besides that, there is also the intriguing clash between cultures in which two people genuinely do not understand things which seem so obvious to the other. I have the T-shirt, as the saying goes ...
One quote will do, I think, not about either main character:
"He believed in rational thinking and scientific inquiry, which was why he never won an argument with his mother, who believed in people doing what she told them, and believed it with a rock-hard certainty which dismissed all opposition."
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Shocking News
Things were going pretty much as normal today until I had a call from one of my brothers at work during lunch. Nothing surprising about that: he and I have been conversing and corresponding on a project of his over the last few days.
But this time he asked me if I knew that our parents were out of the country. I didn't. Apparently I was due to be told but stress and busy-ness meant the call was never made before they left. And now, on their first day away, they were in a serious car crash. Fortunately it seems there are no serious injuries as such, but my mother is still in hospital a day and a half later.
There isn't anything I can do, or could do even if things were different. I'm not there where the action is. But it does raise all sorts of feelings and I feel distant and powerless, even more distant than before. And I really don't like to feel distant from my family, as we were always closer than average even among the brethren. I'm just very thankful there isn't more need for something to be done and that everything seems to be OK.
I guess I'm fortunate compared to many that I have at least a reasonable point of contact, and that allows me to convey at least some of my feelings back the other way.
But this time he asked me if I knew that our parents were out of the country. I didn't. Apparently I was due to be told but stress and busy-ness meant the call was never made before they left. And now, on their first day away, they were in a serious car crash. Fortunately it seems there are no serious injuries as such, but my mother is still in hospital a day and a half later.
There isn't anything I can do, or could do even if things were different. I'm not there where the action is. But it does raise all sorts of feelings and I feel distant and powerless, even more distant than before. And I really don't like to feel distant from my family, as we were always closer than average even among the brethren. I'm just very thankful there isn't more need for something to be done and that everything seems to be OK.
I guess I'm fortunate compared to many that I have at least a reasonable point of contact, and that allows me to convey at least some of my feelings back the other way.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Work
Life has been busy for a few weeks now as, semi-accidentally, work outside work has taken off.
Besides the prospective wedding photography, the old stand-by of product photography has revived – mainly due to my most regular brethren visitors. One of them has used my services for a long time now, off and on, but the other has persuaded the company he works for to switch to me too. At least for now, I should say.
At some point I shall begin to ask if there’s anything else to the story. I am never surprised by brethren work because of the “known quantity” mindset that seems to be so prevalent among them: brethren generally will go to considerable lengths not to need the services of anyone unknown. If somebody within the community can do a job, they will probably be first on the list. If not, then someone that somebody within the community knows will be preferred, even if they don’t come particularly highly recommended. There seems to be a strong aversion that I don’t quite understand to finding new solutions. However, to return to my own situation, something may have changed which makes me an option to call on, and that something could either be changing attitudes or a perceived need to keep me on-side in some way.
I have noticed that since technology has become less alien and forbidden territory to brethren, it has opened up doors. My suspicion is that now brethren are able (and encouraged!) to use computers and digital equipment for work, my long-standing attachment to those things is no longer a reason to shy away from the subject but more a reason to take advantage of somebody familiar who has experience. That would be quite enough reason for them to send work my way.
What would be more worrying, and could well be part of the reason even if not the whole story, is if somebody somewhere sees this as a route to entice me back into the fold – or at least a way of keeping the tentacles entangled. A cynical view would be that they see a danger that I might become totally independent and leave my brethren-provided job, and so try to become essential to me in the new area of work as well. Still, I have to say that even if that was the case, it marks a big improvement over the old “cast the heretics out forever” attitude. They may be beginning to learn that being nice brings greater benefits than being nasty. Although in my case I think most of what happens is simply the result of brethren trying to do what they think is best for everybody concerned, rather than a massive plot.
Besides that, I have been dabbling in location and house photography, and it is possible that it may become regular through an agency who provide better pictures of houses than estate agents for people whose houses are worth the extra trouble. And I am waiting to hear if Saturday may be a baptism of fire on the wedding front, as a professional friend is double-booked and offering to hand over one shoot to me.
So what with all that development, I have decided that the time is right to scrap my current photo website and revamp it to serve professional needs instead. Originally I was going to start another site for that, but I am in the process of moving my personal work to Flickr, which is cheaper and more flexible, and that leaves my short and simple website address free!
As I said, it’s a busy time.
Besides the prospective wedding photography, the old stand-by of product photography has revived – mainly due to my most regular brethren visitors. One of them has used my services for a long time now, off and on, but the other has persuaded the company he works for to switch to me too. At least for now, I should say.
At some point I shall begin to ask if there’s anything else to the story. I am never surprised by brethren work because of the “known quantity” mindset that seems to be so prevalent among them: brethren generally will go to considerable lengths not to need the services of anyone unknown. If somebody within the community can do a job, they will probably be first on the list. If not, then someone that somebody within the community knows will be preferred, even if they don’t come particularly highly recommended. There seems to be a strong aversion that I don’t quite understand to finding new solutions. However, to return to my own situation, something may have changed which makes me an option to call on, and that something could either be changing attitudes or a perceived need to keep me on-side in some way.
I have noticed that since technology has become less alien and forbidden territory to brethren, it has opened up doors. My suspicion is that now brethren are able (and encouraged!) to use computers and digital equipment for work, my long-standing attachment to those things is no longer a reason to shy away from the subject but more a reason to take advantage of somebody familiar who has experience. That would be quite enough reason for them to send work my way.
What would be more worrying, and could well be part of the reason even if not the whole story, is if somebody somewhere sees this as a route to entice me back into the fold – or at least a way of keeping the tentacles entangled. A cynical view would be that they see a danger that I might become totally independent and leave my brethren-provided job, and so try to become essential to me in the new area of work as well. Still, I have to say that even if that was the case, it marks a big improvement over the old “cast the heretics out forever” attitude. They may be beginning to learn that being nice brings greater benefits than being nasty. Although in my case I think most of what happens is simply the result of brethren trying to do what they think is best for everybody concerned, rather than a massive plot.
Besides that, I have been dabbling in location and house photography, and it is possible that it may become regular through an agency who provide better pictures of houses than estate agents for people whose houses are worth the extra trouble. And I am waiting to hear if Saturday may be a baptism of fire on the wedding front, as a professional friend is double-booked and offering to hand over one shoot to me.
So what with all that development, I have decided that the time is right to scrap my current photo website and revamp it to serve professional needs instead. Originally I was going to start another site for that, but I am in the process of moving my personal work to Flickr, which is cheaper and more flexible, and that leaves my short and simple website address free!
As I said, it’s a busy time.
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