If I'm honest, Christmas is approaching a little like a juggernaut. One full of good things, I'm sure, but still a bit scary to have bearing down on me at high speed.
I have noticed that many ex-brethren have at least an ambivalent attitude to the festivities. It's hard to feel truly part of something when so much of it seems to spring from memory and tradition. Children love Christmas, of course, but a good many adults seem to derive most of their sense of what it's all about from the experiences of their formative years. Brethren, of course, have none of that.
The brethren never have celebrated Christmas, so far as I know, following in the direct tradition of the puritans of Cromwell's time. It's a pagan festival, nothing to do with Christianity, is the doctrine. In recent years the negativity has only increased, and whereas in the past the work-free day was an excuse to get together with friends and family regardless of the reason for the holiday, the fact that the world outside is doing just that now means that the flock are strongly discouraged from doing any such thing. No get-togethers on the twenty-fifth, only on other days if you must.
So it feels odd to suddenly find myself in the wider world where it's important. I feel something of an imposter. A bit like an autistic person at a party, feeling little but frantically studying the people around me for clues to what I should be feeling and doing.
Those for whom this time of year is familiar and fun can have very little idea of the pressures of arriving at it without any preparation. There are expectations galore, and wherever there are expectations, there is an equal amount of potential for disappointing and upsetting people.
I look forward to the time when I've developed traditions of my own to lean on, a Christmas groove to slip comfortably into. For this year I'm very grateful that the requirements are few, the day is to be low-key, and people generally are likely to excuse any faux-pas as an understandable mistake by the alien at the festivities.
I bet my family and I will miss each other a lot on those free days, too. But that, I think, can't be cured.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Love your opening paragraph! I'm sure many of us feel like that, even when we are old hands at it!
Dear Alien
Join the club!! I still feel like an outsider sometimes though some traditions like Christmas have settled and in fact we now tend to make the time simpler and simpler each year. This year a tree with lights in the room, a few christmas cards from people who still dont realise I really only send them now to folks I haven't seen for ages, and a few presents but not the great big expensive buys of times past. After all we have all we need really.
PS I would like a music centre of some kind though!!
Christmas dinner we have, turkey and all the trimmings but again it is all really quite low key. Getting family and friends together is the most important bit for me - time at last in a busy year.
And a few days either side to catch up on those jobs, letters not written, emails not sent, etc etc. And hopefully a time to meet friends not seen for a while too.
Post a Comment