I have let myself in for what amounts to a party at my place, and it feels to me like one of the biggest and bravest steps I've taken. Is that because I'm just basically shy, or is it that I'm affected by the brethren mentality?
For quite a while I have wished I could get some friends together, and also that people who know me could see where I live while I live there. I have always put it off, though, because such things seem to need an excuse of some kind. Yet any kind of excuse is probably something to do with me personally, and I hate to be the focus of attention. This kind of feels like putting myself on the line, and is also a worry because having asked people to come along to my place, I have a hard time believing I can make it worth the effort for them!
As with so many things, it would be nice to know if the reticence is down to my upbringing or not. I do admire people who are equally comfortable being noticed or ignored, managing events or fitting in. It always feels like an awkward shift for me, even when I know it's required and do my best. I suspect the brethren attitude that says the self is to be suppressed in favour of the community is a hard one to dispel entirely. Going against it feels both exposing and unsafe.
Still, the die is cast, and it will be fun making arrangements, I think. I hope!
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No! It is not because of your Brethren background! Such entertaining is not relished by all, some thrive on it, some loathe it. Just try to be prepared before people arrive and then relax and enjoy the occasion. Sharing the company of good friends is the priority.
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