Murder as a Lifestyle Choice

On Christmas Eve, I visited my old family home for the first time since leaving it in August. It was a very strange feeling, and I was actually quite shaky in advance.

As it turned out, things were OK, though obviously hardly as warm and friendly as it used to be. But while driving home afterwards, I found myself trying once again to sum up in my head how the brethren's attitude to leavers might best be conveyed to those who have never experienced it. The whole thing is very hard to explain, as most people with a normal amount of decency struggle to understand why a simple difference of opinion can have such radical effects, and why, if there is love between a set of individuals, that can be ignored or even switched off just by one side quietly making it clear that they don't subscribe to all the same beliefs.

What I thought about was murder.

No, seriously. Not that there is anybody I would wish to take personal responsibility for wiping off the face of the planet, but as an analogy.

To put yourself in the brethren's mindset, ask yourself if there is anything somebody could have a difference of opinion about that would make you change your feelings about them. If you don't think there is, try imagining that someone important to you said one day that they thought that murder was actually quite ethical, and proceeded to alter their behaviour to suit that belief. Of course, you also have to imagine a society in which such an attitude can be indulged, preferably one outside of what you know.

If you think that's too much of a stretch for an overworked imagination, think of countries where honour killing is routine. Suppose a male friend moved his family to one of those countries, saying that he wanted his children to grow up in an environment where they would be killed by family members for moral misbehaviour because he thought that was how things should be.

Would you feel differently about someone if it became obvious that they sincerely believed your ideas about the sanctity of human life were mistaken? At the very least the consideration might bring a bit of understanding of why brethren members' feelings can be so complex about those who have left them.

Because really, the brethren do think their system of beliefs is that important. To disagree with it enough to leave the fold is to turn your back on morality itself, just as a normal western person would imagine of a person who condoned murder. What other evil might such a person be capable of, and how much further might they slip?

Anyway, those were my thoughts over the couple of miles between my old home and my current one. It isn't pleasant to be looked at as a moral deviant by loved ones, but I do think it is very important to try to understand these things.