I have been watching films for about fifteen years, give or take. Sorry if that disillusions anyone who still thinks all brethren play by the rules. First at the cinema, and later more often on DVD, using a laptop and speakers as a mobile home cinema wherever anyone felt like a movie. But for obvious reasons it wasn't exactly a daily experience.
This Christmas was heavy on movie-watching, just as a relaxed time should be - it's more companionable and less demanding than a good book, which in most ways I still prefer. So I saw more in a short space of time than I ever have before.
It made me notice once again what a softie I am when it comes to screen entertainment, and I would be very interested to know how many other ex-brethren find the same. I simply cannot take the stress of a lot of adult drama.
The traditional staples of adult-rated entertainment, sex and violence, are not the problem in themselves. I can take gore, though it isn't what I would call enjoyable, and I have in the past tested myself with the horror genre. Oddly, it gives only about the same amount of tension as some things that are classified as family-friendly.
What really gets to me is the depiction of emotional trauma and, I suppose, trauma in general. So boy-movies in which scores of people are mown down in a hail of bullets are simple fun because nobody seems worried, even the victims, while girl-movies in which various characters have their noses rubbed in romantic failure, for example, are hard work. And the most difficult I can remember was a recent movie where the fulcrum of the drama was the torture of an innocent man while his wife wondered where he was. Even The Exorcist wasn't as stressful as that.
And maybe that's the key. My formative years were ones without the experience of a false reality on a small screen, and now it's too late to develop the level of immunity that most people have. However much I know - in my head - that what is happening in front of me isn't real, and wasn't even real when it was filmed, my gut reactions remain to be convinced. So while I enjoy a good movie, my taste will probably remain skewed towards fantasy and escapism, with animation being my favourite. The more similar a drama is to real-life events, or what could be real, the less likely I am to enjoy it.
Or maybe it's just me, and I'm naturally soft. If so, that's probably the penalty for being too engaged in what others think and feel, but is a price worth paying, I think. It would be nice to know which it was, though.
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4 comments:
As an 'outsider' I can say I still become totally absorbed in an emotional movie. I'm not immune from feeling the reality of them, sensing the emotions of someone involved in any given situation.
I'd put it down to the sign of a good movie and your ability to appreciate peoples situations and feelings. Certainly not a negative!
I'd agree with pebbles' assessment... and would add this.
The dissonance we lived and were surrounded by for so many years in the EB, must have a huge long-term effect on us. Maybe for some of us, long-repressed emotion is sometimes given a little release when we begin to lose ourselves for a few minutes safely watching someone else's 'life' onscreen? I dunno - it's just an idea.
After 20yrs of lots of tears, I've become pretty accepting of them in myself... although I'm still stunned when I see another human being weeping!
Quite apart from the fact we EBs grew up in a semi-arid emotional desert disguised as an igloo, an additional concern I've had since exiting the peebs, is this. When one is required to steel oneself for that incredibly lonely experience of leaving home, family and culture, how does one ensure the remnants of one's emotions survive that early 'freeze' period?!
Strong emotional reactions to anything - movies, news articles, everyday life - are a kind of comfort to me now; at least I know the old heart sensitivity is still ticking over, somewhere in the recesses!
In my book, Survivor, all this adds up to "You're a Softy, but that's an ok thing to be... indeed it's remarkably healthy given the circumstances." End of diagnostic waffle.
I might just add that I don't recall crying at movies. I just get really really tense. It might be because something's going badly for someone, or because things are happening fast. I also tend to jump at sudden events. All that makes me think my reactions are more due to the medium than the message - that and the fact that books don't do the same.
I suspect that regular exposure to disturbing movies has a desensitising effect, and this may explain why Survivor and I and others brought up with relatively few movies are more prone to be disturbed by them than most people.
But enjoyment of a film can be marred too by one’s moral views. This may explain why I find violence more distasteful when it is portrayed as normal (e.g. in American street culture) than when it is portrayed as abnormal (e.g. in the Exorcist or Silence of the Lambs), or why I find dangerous car chases singularly lacking in entertainment value. Maybe that too is an after-effect of an EB upbringing.
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