It's been a while. You know how it is: man leaves restrictive religion, man gets plenty of free time to obsess over what he's done and why, months pass and other interests take over, man gets less and less of that free time and more and more other things to think about. Well, maybe that's generalising too much.
Still, yesterday was a birthday, and that's a good point to take stock.
My birthday used to be a big thing back when I was small, and my parents provided wonderful gifts, cakes and low-key parties with friends. But among the brethren, birthdays are frivolous events for children, and celebrating them is a bit suspect even if not actually forbidden. I'm not sure how much of my attitude is left over from that, but I can't much be bothered with the anniversary of the day I was born. It seems very arbitrary as a celebration. One day a while ago it occurred to me that it would be much more meaningful to celebrate my ten-thousandth day alive, and I was most annoyed to discover that I'd thought of it two months too late.
Digressing a little, I have a similar problem with Christmas. I get the impression a lot of ex-brethren feel the same - that it's a kind of plastic occasion, composed of cloying sentiment, compulsory fun and tacky accessories. That's how it looks from outside, though I can accept that it's special for some people, especially if they have family traditions. I imagine that my activities this year will take their cue from friends and people special to me, and I will enjoy them for their sake, and maybe learn to get enjoyment myself. A minor hurdle.
That was a little like this birthday. Left to myself, I would have let it pass unnoticed, not liking to be the focus of attention, but others helped to make a little occasion of it and I was very touched.
On Saturday four of us met at my place and had mini cakes (complete with candles!) and some champagne I had been saving, before taking a bus to a Guy Fawkes celebration. That's another thing that brethren frown upon, and consequently I had worked for some years in this little village, and heard a lot about its locally-legendary bonfire, without ever having been. It's even more popular than I thought it was, and my decision to take the bus was definitely justified by the scary queues of cars waiting to park miles from the village. We were blessed with mild clear weather, and it was well worth going, I thought. Hopefully the others felt the same.
The village is a real one, with a green and a stone church, and a bridge you cross to get in, and all the little details you expect to see on a postcard or in one of those heritage magazines. Every year the villagers build a bonfire about forty feet high (it used to be bigger before health and safety rules), and put a stuffed guy on top while thousands of people watch, then a procession of people with torches light the thing. All quite impressive, especially when the guy explodes. There is also a very entertaining firework display, with quirky little touches such as dedicated individual fireworks paid for by people happy birthdays, loving memories etc. A lot is in the atmosphere, which is really good. Obviously a lot of people do enjoy it, because they announced that thirty thousand pounds' worth of display is paid for by the car park charges and catering, while voluntary donations raised twenty-five thousand for local charities the previous year. Not bad at all.
OK, so Saturday was the wrong day, but that was my celebration, and it's more than I've done for years. In the two days since, I've had a relaxing time, so it felt like a three-day birthday at least. All very special, more special than I can say. The world has some lovely people in it.
5 comments:
Happy BIrthday Survivor!! Sounds like you had a good time and as long as the fireworks are exploding around you your birthday continues!
For me birthdays were always important as a little girl because it was the one day in the year when the focus was on me for a change - albeit briefly.
We celebrate your birthday because we are happy you are here! Thank goodness you were born - but of course we can celebrate that any time though it is kind of good to have a day specified for this.
I have just found out I am 22985 days old so we should celebrate my 23 000 day perhaps. Oddly that is very nearly my next birthday!!
And another Happy B'day albeit on the late side! Plus a penny for the Guy! Don't see that ritual so much around London these days.
As to celebrations, any day will do. The "special" days are as good an occasion as any. No need for the baubles, unless you want them. A good Shiraz will do.
Sounds a brilliant and explosive event! ;-)
Even when we reach a stage in life where we might find our birthday as just a day on the calendar, and one we wish to forget as the years race by too quickly, it is heartening to know people care and remember that special day.
On 28th January each year I celebrate E-day (escape, exit, excommunication). It’s better than birthdays, because no one feels obliged to buy presents. The next but one is a big one: my 40th E-day anniversary.
Here's how the Christmas problem has worked for me. For the first year or two, I was a Christmas Eve shopper, trying to imagine what my uncle would like to open on Christmas morning. I remember buying some wrenches. Then I just ignored Christmas. This went on for several years. Eventually I married someone who had no EB history and went back to wondering what she would like to open on Christmas morning. Then I had kids and for a while it made sense. It was fun hiding packages and wrapping gifts. That phase passed about a decade ago.
Then came the time when everyone I know either gave money or wanted money for Christmas. That takes all the fun out of Christmas morning - you just mail or deposit a check when the banks open. By then I had learned the most important lesson in marital harmony. Never forget the bride at Christmas. Fortunately, she has provided a guideline. If devoid of inspiration, look at things made of gold or silver, preferably with diamonds.
Then, of course, there is the whole religious side of Christmas. I have enjoyed the singing and have participated in many choirs over the years. I've learned the Hallelujah Chorus and other Christmas standards.
I have come to see Christmas as an end-of-year closure event. It is a time to exchange cards with old friends and to gather with the extended family for a Christmas photo. I like to save my vacation days to I can take time off at the end of the year.
All told, Christmas has become part of my calendar. The memories are pleasant.
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