It's been a very busy weekend. They are, these days. I'm not a naturally sociable person, and am aware that my default now that I live alone would be something of a hermit-like existence. I am also aware that if people invite me to activities, and I say no, those invitations will dwindle and stop. So I say yes. And I am busy. And this is good.
So having spent Friday evening in exceedingly enjoyable company, been out all Saturday (including a party), and also ventured out today for a Sunday roast at a friend's followed by a woodland photographic walk, I got home this evening to an answerphone message full of concern, thinking of me away from the brethren on a Sunday, and thinking how long and lonely the day must be. With no notion of the irony.
I write this blog based on the notion that I understand the brethren's point of view. Not that I claim any special knowledge, but just that I have been in close proximity more recently than most, and devoted a lot of thinking capacity to understanding the system. But one thing that mystifies me is the average brethren person's view of the outside world. It seems to be such a basic assumption that life will be terrible on the outside, that any other option is simply not imaginable. Why?
There have been brethren I have known who have spent time on the outside, and will speak with a shudder of the sensation of standing alone, feeling that life is empty and missing the meaning it once had. Obviously that is a biased selection, because these are people who have abandoned their attempts to live away from the brethren, but the interesting thing is that the majority of the brethren think the same whether they have experienced it or not. This makes me wonder whether it is the expectation which causes the experience to some extent. I can't say.
Philosophically I object to atheism, but one comment by an atheist does resonate with me, and that is that to admit that there is no meaning to life is to stand in a bracing wind of reality much more satisfying to a mature mind than a cosy shelter of make-believe. That resonates because I think that way of the brethren's life. As it happens, I do believe that life as a whole has meaning. But I do like that word "bracing" about being outside of the narrow meaning life used to have, and I can also understand that it isn't for everybody. I see others look at that bracing wind and turn away, thinking of it as an icy blast, and preferring to keep their hair shirts for warmth.
Reality is precious. It's not pleasant in every aspect, but I wouldn't settle for protection from the unpleasantness at the price of delusion, especially as the compensations are so great. I have been fortunate in having already experienced the kindness of strangers before ever leaving, which gave me the courage to make the break, and I have found so much more since. Wouldn't it be sad to think that the whole world was hostile except for the small community around you?
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3 comments:
Good thoughts! Why intelligent and good people withdraw into tribalism must have been studied thoroughly. It has been noted that slaves can be very uncomfortable when set free. And that some criminals commit offenses on release from prison, subconsciously seeking the prison "womb".Perhaps there are self-fulfilling prophecies at work too.
Quote: ..one thing that mystifies me is the average brethren person's view of the outside world. It seems to be such a basic assumption that life will be terrible on the outside, that any other option is simply not imaginable. Why?
When you've invested so much - and many EB have invested to the point of cutting off relatives, friends, even children, who've disagreed with EBdom - don't you sort of HAVE to believe that your life on the inside is sublime compared to anything on offer outside? If you didn't believe that, then all your suffering and straightening and self-flagellation would be for naught. One simply can't AFFORD to take an open-eyed look at life outside; the price to pay - and the price already paid - will be too high.
I realise that brethren need to see their life as better than the alternative. But they don't see their life as sublime except in theory. Most of them see it as a bit of a drag, in my experience, but tolerable because the outside world is hell by comparison. It's tribalism, no doubt, and fear of the unknown, but it's still - to me - a puzzlingly negative outlook.
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