It just occurred to me after posting the last entry that I have now passed three months as a blogger.
I hoped documenting the things that had been swirling around my head for so long would begin to change the reality around me. It has succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. Text in black and white has a power that spoken words don't, especially in a diffident and quiet voice such as mine.
"Blogging has changed my life" sounds like hyperbole, but it's the literal truth.
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What is it about print? Does it have its own reality that confirms the writer's self? Is it narcissistic? I recall vividly years ago looking at the first writing of mine that went into print. And rather shyly marveling at it, whilst wondering whether it really did come from me. And, if so, what right did I have to make these public statements!
When I began to clarify my ideas about Life, the Universe and Everything, I found that putting them on paper or on the Web was more conducive to clear thinking and objective assessment than chatting with people face to face.
People, unlike paper, tend to have strong opinions. If they are relatives or fellow members of a sect, they often have a vested interest in shaping your ideas or manipulating your behaviour. In various ways, they show approval or disapproval while you speak, and this is not at all conducive to clear, objective thinking.
Paper, ink and keyboards, on the other hand are completely non-judgmental and free of prejudice. They have endless patience, and don’t change the subject. If you make an occasional mistake they allow you to correct it, and are quick to forgive and forget. Then, when you nail your crystallised thoughts to the Church door, or post them on the Internet, it is too late for raised eyebrows or wrinkled brows. “What I have written, I have written.”
I must admit my blog (which is now in some sort of trouble with peebs.net) has led me firmly to a conclusion that I did not expect at the beginning.
Teachers always tell their students that they can only know properly what they think if they write it - hence the importance of the essay.
It seems your forebear in faith would have understood what you say, Survivor:
'Mr. Darby was deliberate and prayerful in weighing a Scripture; but he wrote rapidly, as thoughts arose in his spirit, and often with scarcely a word changed. He delighted in a concatenated sentence, sometimes with parenthesis within parenthesis, to express the truth fully, and with guards against misconception. An early riser and indefatigable worker, he yet had not time to express his mind as briefly and clearly as he could wish. "You write to be read and understood," he once said playfully to me; "I only think on paper." '
'John Nelson Darby as I knew him' by William Kelly.
http://www.stempublishing.com/authors/kelly/7subjcts/jnd_knew.html
It's interesting to see everyone tripping over themselves to confirm that the pen is mightier than the sword but I wonder whether or not this personal journey and transformation would have taken place anyway.
Ha, even back to the 1800s, the peebs had THE truth, apparently (see the W Kelly comment about JND, courtesy joan). Not "his truth", or anybody's truth, but THE One Truth!
That's a fair bit of non-diffident history each of us exEB are carrying around in our psyche ;-}
This posting was more of a quick note than an analysis, but for me the writing really has changed things. my journey has been a lot longer than the blog shows, but it has taken the blog to create real steps forward.
I have thought the things I have written here for a long time. I have even spoken those thoughts to people. They were only taken seriously once I posted them in public and they could no longer be glossed over, and it was only once my concerns were taken seriously by those nearest to me that I could begin any further steps. Parting is difficult, and it needed both sides to have a clear vew of the differences that made it necessary. Before blogging, I despaired of ever getting those differences recognised.
And, of course, the public nature of blogging meant I acquired friends to help me through the difficult time.
Useful things, these blogs.
An event may take place anyway but documenting the journey in whatever circumstances helps thought processes and healing. It can be read again to see how far forward we have come and is a good reminder for supporting others in such times.
Someone once wrote, "if it is not written, it didn't happen." Whilst not strictly correct, I think I understand where that author was coming from.
"They were only taken seriously once I posted them in public and they could no longer be glossed over, and it was only once my concerns were taken seriously by those nearest to me..." (I'm not as clever as pomkiwi in italicising the above).
What an extremely interesting insight, Survivor, to Brethren mentality.
I'm also not PC literate enough to understand why some commentators names appear in blue and others don't. (Under the "Leave your Comment" field I get a line in German.)
George, those underlined in blue have been analysed by the computer and found to be of the Levitical class!
Sorry, George, but it means your name won't go forward at the next special collection.
The experience of writing my thoughts has given me the opportunity to look back years later at myself and shudder to discover how little I have changed.
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