The brethren don't get a good press. In many ways that's unfair. In the big scheme of things, brethren are a lot closer to trivial than evil. What's more, only their blunders get noticed, although there are areas of success if anyone cares to look. I'm not minimising the suffering of those who've found themselves caught under the wheels of their drive towards earthly perfection, but all organisations get hated these days. Look at the World Bank, AT&T, the Kurds.
What many people probably don't realize is that the brethren actually find the bad publicity useful. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the management actively invite negative coverage, but it certainly isn't as unwelcome as the rest of us might like to think.
If you've invested decades of doctrinal effort in proving a way is uniquely and absolutely right, and at the same time asserting that a sure way to tell that it is right is that it comes under attack, then it would be a worry if nobody disagreed with it. The brethren consider their whole way of life to be a blatant criticism of the world around. The Devil is more at war with the fellowship than any other entity on earth; would he not use any means at his disposal to attack it? Including the media, which is a nest of literal demons? And the internet, which is undiluted evil?
What this means for those who'd like to make a difference is that you're almost certainly wasting your time. The brethren have an impenetrable force field. Any attack is proof that they're right and you're wrong, because if you were right you wouldn't allow the Devil to act through you.
And what's more surprising is that the attitude is as strong in waverers as it is in true believers. I know several who've been disenchanted, found a way to look outside, and been shocked to discover that what they've always been told is true: people do hate the brethren. That has been enough to persuade them that perhaps everything else they were told is also true. They take it personally, and that renews the links they were beginning to loosen.
So is criticism pointless? No. It makes me feel better, and I suspect that's true of others. Just let's not kid ourselves we're serving any wider purpose.
8 comments:
"I know several who've been disenchanted, found a way to look outside, and been shocked to discover that what they've always been told is true: people do hate the brethren"
I really have to query this conclusion. In my experience as well as in my own feelings I have never found anyone who "hates" individual Brethren.
They may detest the system, and the self-delusion that it is not a SYSTEM, writ large. They may profoundly dislike, or even hate the effects it has on individuals
and families.They may pity or feel sadness for the drift from Christian commitment to commercially-based cult.
Perhaps those people you mention have not yet developed the nuances of judgement and critical powers of perception to distinguish this.
Yes, I'm talking about perception.
If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail, as the saying goes. If you've long been told that everybody is against the brethren, then a large body of criticism will look like hate.
I report what I've seen. That's how brethren react.
I suppose that within a system which frowns upon dissent or even positive debate and discussion, that the insiders naturally see opposing opinions as "hate". All the more pity in my opinion.
I would imagine that if one can't identify "hate" clearly, then it would also be difficult to recognise true, unconditional "love" for what it is. What a loss!
Many ex-peebs I know have great love for those who remain within the brethren - they are their families! What is hated is a system that denies fathers access to their children, denies mothers access to their mothers, denies sisters access to their brothers... What is hated is the inability to love.
Your comments are all true, and yet ...
What I'm attempting to convey is the feelings of people you may not (any more?) have much in common with. The only people likely to come across media and internet reports about the brethren are ones who are already somewhat rebellious, but remember they are probably also feeling guilty and defensive. And, however disenchanted they are, their self-image still says that they are Exclusive Brethren.
So when they see sustained criticism, however it was meant, and however they may rationalise it, on a gut level it will feel as personal as a slap in the face.
This may explain why there are few anonymous messages of support in brethren discussion forums. I promise you that even brethren disobedient enough to be browsing the web will be seriously put off by what they find.
It is so sad to recognise and understand what you're saying, dear Survivor - as those who are abused often defend the abuser, there is a feeling of complicity with the act of abuse. To criticize the EBs is to criticize the individuals - this is achingly painful for us on the outside. Any ideas, sir? How does one attempt to expose a system without alienating those within it?
The possible increase in education you have referred to may well be the first stepping stone.
From what you've said in other areas of your blog, Survivor, I believe the things that people outside the sect dislike about it are the same things that you yourself dislike.
Perhaps you fear that if you leave the sect you might find yourself disliked for having been in it. Actually you would find that most people in the outside world know little or nothing about the Exclusives. Those who do have usually had some past experience of the sect, and will admire you for leaving rather than disliking you for having been a member
wilja, I can honestly say I've never experienced any adverse reaction at all from average normal people outside, even while among the brethren. I hadn't imagined that would change after an exit.
And Lydia, I'm sorry, but if I had any ideas I'd have said them by now.
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